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As a parent of teen who struggled with major depresson and survived a suicide attempt, I was looking forward to reading this book. But I was stunned and dismayed at Mr. Raeburn's pitiful lack of abiltiy to come to terms with his childrens' suffering and further, his failture to take appropriate measures. The level of self-absorption and selfishness both he and his ex-wife (albeit we only hear his side of the story) exhibit, their inability to put the needs of their children first and their mutual failure to address the many behavioral and psychological needs of their struggling teens left me despairing. Are there really legions of parents out there who, when faced with severely disfunctional children, perform so badly?

Raeburn gets points for honesty, and he adds to the literature on bi-polar chldren, but for all the good it does, the book is more about his own failings than the mental illnesses his children suffer.

Paul Raeburn's honesty about his own travails and those of his children makes this a valuable book to families exploring their options in the face of a child's possible mental illness. He doesn't sugarcoat his own reactions nor what happens to his son and daughter as they struggle to come to terms with and find adequate treatment for their problems. Every parent going through this gets angry at his or her children, angry at doctors, and angry at teachers and schools. Every parent makes mistakes and no one handles every situation perfectly. Reading this detailed, fascinating, and sometimes harrowing account could help a parent avoid some of the pitfalls and teach compassion to teachers, doctors, friends, and family members. I urge anyone with a child suffering from bipolar disorder, ADD, or any other mental illness to read this book.

This book should be required reading for all parents of children with psychiatric disorders. Perhaps they will then see how their actions contribute to their children's illness. Raeburn spends most of the book complaining about his ex-wife's "failings" including her unwillingness to postpone dinner for the kids until 7 or so, when his 2 hour commute from New York to the tony suburb he chose to live would be complete. This is just one example of his selfishness and his complete inability to see things from any perspective but his own. He waxes nostalgic about the old fashioned family dinners he used to have with his parents, but ironically notes that his mother (or father) was often absent from them. It's like he wants his wife to live up to an ideal standard that never existed. It sounds like he spent more time griping about the lack of family dinners (hungry children be darned), rather than thinking of other ways the family could spend time together, or by considering a closer move to his job. He tries to minimize the consequences of his abusive behavior, including his verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse of his family. He doesn't seem to regret his behavior, and his justifications for his actions come off as self-righteous. Raeburn recounts some harrowing scream fests, including his own role in them. This is just a glimpse of what actually occurred, and it's told from his perspective. You get the impression that things were actually much worse than what he relates. One can only imagine the horror of living in a house where obscenity filled fights and cold silences were part of the daily routine. When he's not trying to blame his ex-wife for his problems, he's trying to justify his own selfish behavior, like moving in with his mistress far from the kids. He's obviously a guy who wants things to be his way all the time. I pity the child who did not live up to all his expectations. No wonder why they rebelled. Maybe Raeburn, who is a talented writer, should write a book for divorcing couples and teach them why they should not follow his example.