Abandoned Forum

[KuraiDragoon]

So my girlfriend told me about a dream she had the other night. Me and my best friend were living together at my girlfriend's mother's old house. I raped her, I think she said in the basement. She was of course very upset by this. Her ex lover was getting her to pursue legal charges against me for the rape. They got some legal papers for me and left them at the house, I think when I wasn't home. She later had her brother's break into the house for her to get the paper's back because she felt bad and didn't want me going to jail because she still loved me. At one point in the dream, after I raped her, she had very vivid sex with my best friend, also in the house though I'm not sure which room, and it was um from behind. She physically orgasmed from this.

Here are some facts:

Her and I have been together for almost a year and it is very serious. We've been discussing marriage a lot lately.

She doesn't know my best friend well at all, and I'm almost positive that she is not at all attracted to him. She also doesn't think he likes her because of ways he's acted and things he's said in the past, all in my defense when her and I was in a disagreement or something.

She is a very sexual girl, and we havn't been having sex as much as she would like due to schedules, her having her son with her, ect.

Her ex lover has been trying to contect her lately, sometimes professing that he still has feelings for her. She doesn't reciprocate and usually ignores him. I'm quite sure she is over him. They had hung out a while back, just to catch up, she was really drunk and he tried to take advantage of her and her best friend. They both ran out from that situation and were upset by it. He also apparently had problems being faithful in the past.

Her other ex boyfriend, and father of her child, cheated on her when she was pregnant and this hurt her very badly. The relationship could not be mended after that and to this day she has a very hard time with trust and gets suspicious of me and my faithfulness often. However she did cheat on him with the mentioned ex lover before he had cheated.

In the dream, she cannot remember if I actually raped her or if her ex lover just told her or convinced her that I did.

If someone could help me interpret this I'd very much appreciate it.

[lifeis42]

um im not the profetional but dosnt a dream have something tho do with memores and sub conciousness so as well as adrinaline and feromones witch the combonations cause our emotions so it could be that she um just is having a lot of emotions and in her dream they cot up and classed were her worst fears came true if that makes sence

[Bomadeno]

I think so to lifeis42. Kurai, you've said yourself that your girlfriend has trust issues, I think this dream is a manifestation of that. You know she has these issues, but does she? Either way, you could talk about this - don't try to explain you are trustworthy, as that's worth nothing, and actions here will speak louder than words (words usually end up unspeaking in this case). It's also possible that she doesn't trust herself - an odd feeling, but a common enough one which can be pretty confusing. You shouldn't strive to "tick boxes" of trust either (like sharing bank accounts and such to prove trust).

If you're discussing marriage, this might also factor in. Before actually getting married, there might be a growing feeling of 'distrust' in expectation of 'safe, legally binding trust', this isn't always true, but I've seen people that are expecting marriage, to grow to see anything before marriage as "not enough". This leads to expecting more than can possibly got from a relationship.

I hope it all goes well for you both

[lifeis42]

i agree with bomadeno intirely "you actions speak so loud i cannot hear what you are saying" old saying
hope it goes well
may lady luck smile upon you

[Lugus]

It is not particularly unusual for dreams to have more than one meaning at different levels.

In most of the dreams that I look at, the dream people do not represent real people but, instead, are symbols from the unconscious. So it is with this dream.

When I interpret a dream, I will typically use the theories of the late Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. In Jungian (or Analytical Psychology), many of the dream people, animals, things and even events are symbols of archetypes from the collective unconscious.

As your girlfriend’s dream opens, you and your best friend are living at your girlfriend’s mother’s old house. The house in this dream probably refers to the influence of the dreamer’s mother. However, it may not be her real mother but might instead represent a dream mother. She might be the mother archetype.

Archetypes are sort of like primordial images that are created by the collective unconscious. The collective unconscious is called “collective” because it applies to many people. It is called “unconscious” because we are not consciously aware of its contents. The contents of the collective unconscious are not learned. It contains archetypes that we are born with.

In addition, the house probably symbolizes the dreamer in some way. It might represent her physical body but I suspect that the house symbolizes her psyche.

The psyche is what some people call the mind. It is the whole of our consciousness and unconscious.

If the house represents the psyche, then the basement is the unconscious or perhaps the collective unconscious part of the psyche. This supports the interpretation that these dream people are archetypes from the collective unconscious.

In her dream, you are raping her. You are almost certainly a symbol of her animus.

A Jungian would probably say that you are a symbol of the first stage of the animus. Using the theories of Carl Jung, the animus is an archetype from the collective unconscious. The animus is always male and is only found in the dreams (and psyche) of women. During the course of many dreams, the animus can potentially go through four stages of development.

1. Stage 1 -- The animus is the physical man. At his best, he is the muscular hero who saves the maiden in distress. At his worst, he is a materialistic brute who is only interested in his own self-gratification.
2. Stage 2 -- At this stage, the animus is either the romantic lover or the man of action.
3. Stage 3 -- At the third stage, he is a man with a message. Common symbols for the animus at this stage would be a politician, a preacher or a professor.
4. Stage 4 -- At the fourth and final stage, the animus becomes a spiritual guide for the dreamer. Although he is a guide, he may not always be a religious figure. The animus could appear as a wide range of different men. This would include (but not limited to) the Dalia Lama or Carl Jung. And, I believe that the animus at this stage will sometimes show himself as mythological or pagan deity. Examples would be Odin or Loki who would most commonly show themselves in the dreams of women with northern European ancestry.

Her animus appears to be at the first stage of development. However, trying to determine the stage can be a little tricky and is not always obvious.

You wrote that your girlfriend enjoys sex. The meaning of your raping her probably reflects the power of the animus. That is, her enjoyment of sex would be due to her animus (who enjoys sex).

Her ex is probably another symbol of the animus. he apparently wants your girlfriend to reject the dream you as her animus and to accept him in your place (as animus).

She and her ex had some legal papers for you. It sounds like this would be an opportunity for her to “give up” on the dream you as being her animus. That is, she would have the opportunity for getting a more developed animus. But, she apparently has second thoughts and even has sexual relations with your best friend. Thus, her animus may be a different person but he is essentially unchanged.

&&&&&

OK – now that we have identified the animus, what can you do to help him develop? Actually, your girlfriend has already taken a giant step in the right direction. She is listening to her dreams and are trying to understand what they mean. Many people do not even do this.

As she listens to her dreams, they will become more helpful and the people in them will invariably become more civilized.

Hope that this is not too confusing.