Life is funny. It seems like not too old ago, I forced a life form from my body and instantly fell in love with it. It had dark hair and was all eyes and smiles.

 A while later I looked up and she was blonde with curly hair and had the brightest eyes. She loved everyone and had a little brother to enjoy her life with. She loved to hear the violin being played and love all kinds of music. She would twirl and prance around the house.

If you asked her what she was going to be when she grew up she tell you, "I am going to be a ballerina !" She waited anxiously for school to start because she had read every book we owned. She was 3 at the time.

I turn around and she is wearing a Demin western cut dress with ruffles on the bottom. Her curls are in "piggy tails". " Mom can we go yet??" but we had to wait until 7:30 to head to school it was 6 am on the first day of kindergarten. When I finally told her it was time to go she smiled at me with her toothless grin. "Let's go Mom, I can't be late!" As she walked into school she held my hand tight and after we walked into the classroom she let go and ran to meet the other kids. These were the kids that she'd grow up with, and be friends with for 13 years.

That afternoon and every school day afternoon since,we'd talked about her day at school. She tell me who did what and what she did that day. In first grade she informed me that being a ballerina was silly. But she was going to be a teacher. I smiled and told her that she'd have to work hard because I most likely could not afford to send her to college. She just looked at me with those bright eyes and said" Don't worry Mommy, I am going to college and be a teacher." She climbed up on my lap and I looked at her in the eyes and said "Reach for the stars and you can do anything, baby." She just smiled.

I look up and there she is standing in her first long dress. "Hey Mom do you like it? I love it! Hey James what do you think?? as her brother looks at her in awe. That morning she got the Presidential award at school and she was going to be graduating 8th grade. She managed to get a 4 point for the 7th time during her Junior High years and was very happy. She was playing a piece for her graduation program on her flute with her friends. The night of her graduation dance she had her heart broke for the first time. I was helpless to make the hurt go away.

Her 14th birthday was that summer and her best friend was back to share her day. We had duct taped her present and completely sealed it because she knew she was getting her "Harry Potter" book. Her girlfriend and her laughed and giggles and shared all their secrets. I was blessed for this child to come to me with her problems and she cried uncontrollably on my shoulder when the worse thing possible happened to her family.( I still to this day worry about her friend.) My child did wonderfully as a friend she gave an ear and shoulder to cry on. Even though she could never imagine the pain her friend was going through. She stood by her.

Out of the corner of my eye, she comes running up the steps, "Mom I got my driver's manual!! So that way I can study over the summer!!" It's the end of her Freshman year of high school. She has a job working at the Boys and Girls Club. She works hard all thru the summer the Monday after her 15th birthday she has her permit and wants to drive right then. I put my heart back in my chest and we start on our adventure.

She starts her Sophomore year and still works at the club. She voluntarily cuts her hours because her grades are going to suffer. Halloween was her last day of work but she bought her letterman's jacket and her class ring. She lettered in Band and Pep Band. Her school year was busy, between pep band and fund raising she was always busy. Her band went to San Jose and she help raise a lot of the money.

Sometime during that year she got into Honor Society, her band got 2nd at State and she  was really interested in Science. "Mom, I think I want to teach High school science." I smile at her and say "Ok baby what ever you want to do. Keep reaching for the stars." She looks at me with bright eyes and smiles.

I walk into the room and she is looking at a book. "Hey Mom, look at all these colleges." I sit down with her and we look at all the colleges. She had just came back from the college fair in Redmond. She had an idea of what she wanted and was putting it by me. We'd had already checked out what classes she needed and had her on a college path.

Her band was going to Washington D.C. and she was a big part of the fund raising, I think she spent every weekend doing something for band. When  she wasn't doing that she was helping her brother with school work or being a "big buddy" for a grade school kid. When she went to Washington D.C. she called home every day to tell me about her day.

I walk out of work and she is standing there. "Hey Mom! I have something for you to read." As she hands me a letter. I start to cry. The letter says that she has been accepted to her dream college. She thinks I am upset but the tears are for joy. She applied at 5 colleges and was accepted to everyone of them. She gives me a big hug and says with bright eyes sparkling " Don't worry Mom I don't have to go. I can go to one of the other ones." I compose myself and tell her that I am not upset but happy for her.

I look around in a sea of yellow and purple, looking for my curly hair blonde. But I find a grown young lady. She has changed in front of my eyes and I just realized it. She has a full tuition scholarship and with her financial aid she will attend school with no debt. She worked this summer for the second year as "Fire Camp Crew" she worked 3 weeks and has paid for her transportation. Everyone tells me "What a wonderful girl she is and so smart that girl is, she'll go places." they say.

She'll be 18 here in a nine days  and two days later I'll drive her to the airport. Hold her hand, stroke her dark blonde curly hair, hug her tightly and kiss her goodbye then watch  her get on a plane for her dream college in Berea, Kentucky. I guess she is going places while holding on to her stars, while reaching for more stars. And I'll try not to cry.


Part 2

This past week has been bittersweet. Monday we had Brandi's Birthday party. It rained most of the day but an hour before her party it quit raining. We did think ahead and had it at a park with a covered area. But it was probably the chilliest day of the summer!! Most of the people that were invited showed up and she had a wonderful time.

Tuesday was her 18th Birthday. She spent most of the day finishing packing and seeing people that she needed to see. The rest of the day she spent with James playing video games and with us at home. Wednesday we had planned to leave at 10 for Boise. But Amber called and begged for us to wait so Charity and her could take her out to lunch. "Wait until 12:30 to leave please!!!! You can't take her away from us with out us seeing her!" Like I wanted to take her away from home!!!

At 1:15 I texted Brandi and told her "It's 1:15 and Wal-mart is calling your name!" Brandi walked in the house right after I paged her,laughing. She waited for our next door neighbor to come over and said good bye to him. Then she hugged her Dad goodbye and we headed out for Boise.

We stopped and took pictures of Harney County, the burn areas,then we stopped at the "shoe tree" and the volcano at Vale. We got to Walmart and shopped a little. We bought Brandi her birthday present a new skort and searched for a shirt that wasn't a "Brandi" finally I found a tee shirt that says" Go Away Get off my Planet" that has stars and planets on it. Which Brandi loved. We also got James a new outfit for school.The shirt he picked out says "Genius by birth Slacker by choice" Brandi told him if he really does slack she will come home and put her foot up his... well you know.

Before we knew it it was 6:30 mt and we had to get going. We got to the hotel and checked in after I took the kids on a tour...wrong turn went to the short term parking but got out without having to pay since we went right thru. Then turned into the wrong  driveway. But we made it. Checked out the room and unloaded our bags. Then decided we were all hungry so we went to Denny's. By the time we got done eating and it was 10:30.

We all took showers when we got back to the room and tried to get some sleep since we had to be up at 5am. But no one could sleep. Brandi finally forced herself at 12:30, James tossed and turned until 1 and I went to sleep about 2. I just laid there and watched my kids sleep. The alarm went off at 5 and we were all up and moving.

Brandi ate some fruit and donut holes for breakfast but she wasn't really hungry, more nervous. At 5:45 we decided to head for the airport after Brandi went back to get her flute from the room. We parked and went with Brandi to check in then held each other until she decided that she had to go.

James and I watched her go thru security. The last thing she did before going thry the metal detector was take off her class ring. We watched as she picked up her stuff and then she walked off without turning back. James and I were standing by the glass partition doors. James and I headed down the escalator when there was an announcement "There was a ring left in Security" I knew immediately that it was Brandi's. I picked up the page phone and asked them to page her and tell her to check for her ring. We headed back to the hotel and at 6:55 we stood outside the hotel and waved Brandi off to her new adventure.

 I was almost home and I called Amber to tell her that Brandi made it off ok and my eyes teared up.I DID NOT cry until I walked into my house and realized that it would be a long 3 months without Brandi. But I had to pull it together so I could get James registered for school. I cried after I had everything done and talked to Brandi at her hotel. James had headed to his friend Ian's house, then I bawled.

But things are getting better. James is home and adapting slowly,Brandi is now in her dorm and has met people including a girl from town so she has a local connection now. And her dad even admitted he cried the day we left but don't tell him I said so... And I still tear up but it will get better.... 16 weeks until she'll be home for Christmas.

Brandi, when you read this know that I love you and always will. I am with you no matter where you are, even in College.  I am so very proud of you!! Study hard and have fun !! See you at Christmas Break.
I love you !!
Mom