Funny quotes of the day
Funny Quote of the Day from BrainyQuote.comURL
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1 year 7 weeks agoNovember 14, 2007
09:53
"We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect."
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09:53
"Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish."
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November 11, 2007
06:00
"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings."
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November 8, 2007
06:00
"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver."
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06:00
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby."
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November 6, 2007
06:00
"What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others."
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November 5, 2007
06:00
"There are parts of me that I feel are beautiful, but they don't have anything to do with my nose."
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November 4, 2007
06:00
"A camel makes an elephant feel like a jet plane."
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November 3, 2007
05:00
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
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November 1, 2007
05:00
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
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October 31, 2007
05:01
"Writing books is the closest men ever come to childbearing."
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05:01
"Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing."
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October 29, 2007
05:06
"You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars."
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October 28, 2007
05:06
"The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion."
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October 27, 2007
05:00
October 26, 2007
05:00
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
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October 25, 2007
05:00
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
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October 24, 2007
05:00
"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be."
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October 23, 2007
05:00
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
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October 22, 2007
05:01
"I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty."
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