adoption

...this is the best book ever written on adoption related issues. This book is full of examples and helpful advice that parents can actually use. This is a must-read book for current or would-be adoptive parents.

This book is important for parents who adopt older children with attachment problems, or who have biological children with such problems. Some clinicians believe that the attachment formed to the mother or to some other consistently present person tends to endure and implies the formation of intra-organismic structures that won't go away even under the impact of adverse conditions. (See Ainsworth, Mary D. Salter. "Object Relations, Dependency, and Attachment: A Theoretical Review of the Infant-Mother Relationship." Child Development 40 (1969): 969-1025). If this is true, then parents who face this dilemma can learn with Deborah Gray's help to understand and validate their children's rage and grief, and then try to help them with the therapeutic techniques that in Gray's experience promote attachment and increase the likelihood of success during the course of therapy.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

As the parent of 2 adopted children, one who attached easily and one who is proving to be more of a challenge, this book is one that I feel our agency should make required reading. It is not only for those parents of older adoptees, but I found much that was helpful for our 14 month old son. Beyond the obvious helpful ideas and explanations, this book served to help "normalize" this experience for me, and helped me feel less like we are living in our own little hell at the moment. Reading the real-life stories provided me with several "ahh haa" moments, and I now feel much better equipped to handle my son's behavior and understand this is more of a "Long Haul" than a "Quick Fix", but definitely something that can be worked with and helped. This book is very in-depth and comprehensive, and for someone who is at this moment dealing with a month worth of sleepless nights, tantrums, and constant pushing away I can't think of anything more valuable that I have found to help me through this.